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Home » Love Forum » Ask a Male » Boyfriends with female best friends.
Boyfriends with female best friends. [message #9757] Wed, 24 August 2016 19:11
elisa is currently offline  elisa
Messages: 1
Registered: August 2016
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Guys, I'm looking for some advice here. My boyfriend has a female best friend. I am generally fine with my boyfriends having female friends, even when I can sense some kind of attraction or flirting; this doesn't tend to threaten me because it seems harmless. BUT, my current boyfriend has this best friend who he was roommates with in college, they dated briefly, hooked up on and off after that, and still talk on the phone and text pretty regularly. To me, this is a whole other level of friendship. I've asked him to just tone it down; talk on the phone a whole lot less, stop texting so much. She lives out of town and has visited a few times; she's really cool and maybe I could try being friends with her if she lived here, but she doesn't live here. I know that he "loves" her, but I feel like he is "in love" with her. He said that he put the idea of them being together out of his head a long time ago (because she isn't good at relationships) and that I have nothing to worry about. He hasn't changed their level of communication at all. He said he would likely be uncomfortable if the situation was reversed, but he's not willing to change anything because his friendship with this other girl is important to him; he doesn't have guy friends that close. She usually is the one to initiate a lot of their communication, and he isn't willing to not engage with her every time.

Guys, is there any way this is just a friendship without the hope of something more? I've always been fine with guys and girls being friends, but I've never been in a situation where my boyfriend is BEST friends with a girl. I feel like when heterosexual guys and girls are besties, that one of them is "in love" and just sticking it out. If they talked every few months on the phone and texted a few times a month, that'd be different and fine. I'd have fun when she visited rather than anxious and uncomfortable.
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