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Home » Love Forum » Ask a Male » What's going on with this coworker?
What's going on with this coworker? [message #10058] Sat, 22 December 2018 02:21 Go to next message
rosie43 is currently offline  rosie43
Messages: 1
Registered: December 2018
Karma: 0
During our meetings, I've noticed that this guy never fails to sit next to me. I would sometimes try to find a different spot to sit at, but he continues to sit next to me anyways. If he isn't able to sit next to me at all, he stares at me when I'm not even speaking or doing anything. He has also said me once at the end of one of our meetings, "I hope you enjoy the warm weather, such as yourself." But then he quickly changed the ending of it by saying, "such as today." He mirrors my actions, facial expressions, and words a lot and doesn't do it with others in the group. He also tries to find things in common with me. For example, I told him once that I have Greek ancestry. Then, he told me that he was Greek too even though he has told me multiple times in the past that he only has Russian ancestry. I'm a single woman in my 20's and he's in his 40's and married. Why does he keep doing this?
Re: What's going on with this coworker? [message #10059 is a reply to message #10058] Sat, 22 December 2018 03:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
toptoy is currently offline  toptoy
Messages: 17
Registered: January 2016
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Established member
I think there could be two possibilities:

1. He likes you and tries to flirt with you in a special way.

Maybe he even uses use some NLP stuff to establish a rapport with you. BTW those tricks were quite popular in Russian-speaking countries about a decade ago.

2. He's just trying to have fun, but have some sort of what I call "social stupidity" i.e. he doesn't know what's really fun and what's not. But it's kind of weird to do that in 40s Smile

Assuming that you don't want to start romantic relationship with him, I'd suggest to wait some time and observe for now.

When you notice that he does something like that again, probably in a more explicit way, you can just tell him that you don't like it, in a polite but firm way.

If that doesn't work, I'd treat that as harassment and report him to your manager or HR.

I believe, key is that you feel confident that you can stop those things in one or another way. In most cases that sort of people will just the feel your confidence and stop doing those stupid things.

Let us know if that makes sense.
Re: What's going on with this coworker? [message #10060 is a reply to message #10058] Sat, 22 December 2018 04:49 Go to previous message
The Dating Expert is currently offline  The Dating Expert
Messages: 112
Registered: February 2007
Karma: 4

He should be crazy flirting with you while being married.

Just make sure you don't send him mixed signals. Firmly let him know that you are co-workers and nothing more.

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