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Home » Love Forum » Ask the Dating Expert » Casual sex and strong feelings
icon9.gif  Casual sex and strong feelings [message #10193] Thu, 20 February 2020 10:12 Go to next message
alex2020 is currently offline  alex2020
Messages: 1
Registered: February 2020
Karma: 0
I am 32 years old and met this 26 year old female on tinder 1.5 years ago. She had just broken up from a 5 year relationship and just wanted to fool around with guys, which was perfect for me because I was not looking for anything serious either.
Sex was amazing for both of us, but communication was problematic right from the start. She would answer my texts after 6 hours or the next day. She always seemed aloof and uninterested. Even though she treated me like she didn't want to see me anymore, she would always get back to me and meet me once every 1 or 2 weeks just for sex (which as I said was awesome).
The problem is I started to develop feelings for her, and at some point I realized that I had never loved someone so much. I know it sounds ridiculous but she was the only thing on my mind 24/7 and I was crying all day long. I had been in long term relationships in the past but I never knew what it actually meant to be in love until I met this special lady.
At some point after one year of knowing each other, I took her out for a drink and told her how much in love with her I was all this time. She said "you should be really lonely, I feel sorry/pity for you", and she disappeared.
It was her choice to let me go so I did not contact her again, until 6 weeks after that, she sent me a text at 5am (probably drunk and horny) telling me that she's thinking about me a lot and she wants to see me again etc.
So now we're seeing each other again once every month or so and just for sex. I still have the same feelings for her and I feel terrible/miserable every moment I am not with her. In other words, seeing her is not good for me!
Any suggestions? Should I humiliate myself again by telling her how much in love with her I am? Should I pretend I'm cool and say nothing and wait to see what happens? Should I just leave her? But I can't just leave her!!!
Re: Casual sex and strong feelings [message #10222 is a reply to message #10193] Sat, 25 April 2020 04:44 Go to previous message
breakupshop is currently offline  breakupshop
Messages: 15
Registered: March 2020
Location: Miami
Karma: 0
Established member
Sounds like both of you aren't on the same page now, and you started on the same page when you met. You both just wanted sex and casual encounters before, and now it sounds like that's what she wants still and you're developing feelings. That's a tough situation and feel for you. I hope it works out for you but it's difficult when you can't control how someone else feels.
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